If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Doing Well in School?

Confusion Over “Good Student” Behaviors

In families where getting good grades and being cooperative in school are an imperative, the child who doesn’t conform to that standard is often seen as a problem, i.e., not a good student. At the same time, if the parents don’t value or acknowledge stereotypical “good student” behavior, but the child does value it, that child can feel undervalued, overlooked, or taken for granted.

Good school behavior on the part of one sibling in the family who has no apparent school problems can mislead another gifted child in the family to misunderstand his or her own abilities. To the parent or educator, a child who is described as “doing well” in school almost always implies that the child/student behaves well, does what is asked of him or her by the teachers, and gets good grades (Arnold, 1993).

Here is input from the longitudinal study subjects who experienced this issue.

Henry Ruggles and Donald Wolsfeld

In two families with both sons and daughters, the “good student” difference created problems for the boys. Henry (Level One) and Donald (Level Two), both gifted to highly gifted subjects, saw themselves as failures and disappointments to their parents and themselves…